It seemed like a normal day at the lake, until we had to pull the boat out of the water. I dropped Alex off at the marina to get the truck, and I pulled the boat around to the boat ramp. These are our normal duties, and we are both quick and efficient. However, it seems we were unaware it was Idiot Day at Lake Grapevine.
- There was a small fishing boat, family of 4, and their 2 golden retrievers parked on the side of the ramp. (Mind you, only 1 boat can be launched at a time right now because of the flooding, so it's a tight squeeze to begin with.) The dogs were playing fetch in the water, so the trucks, trailers and boats all had to dodge them.
- After several sucessful boat launches, a white Expedition backs down the ramp. No boat headed over to it. After 5 minutes, the Expedition is still sitting there, waiting for its boat. I noticed the bumpers on the trailer defined it as belonging to a Ski Nautique boat. I look around me (as I am endlessly circling waiting for Alex's turn on the ramp and baking in the sun), and there is no Nautique boat among the 5 that were patiently waiting for their trailer. Another 5 minutes go by, and I finally see the Nautique rounding the corner. I am close to them on my 50th lap around the marina and ask "Are you waiting for a white Expedition?" "Why, yes" she answered, like I was psychic or something. I replied "He's been waiting for you on the ramp for 10 minutes!" Apparently she had gone out for one last little spin after she dropped him off to get the truck. (More on women boaters in a moment.)
- At long last, Alex backed down the trailer. I pulled the boat on, he latched it, and we were out. Total elapsed time: 4 minutes, tops. I even got an attaboy from the fishing family: "I give you a 10 for boat parking!" I replied, "Yeah, I don't see how it's that hard."
Finally, women boaters... this scenario did not occur yesterday; however, I've seen it enough times that I feel compelled to include it today. For some reason, a large proportion of women feel that they cannot drive a boat. In fact, they do nothing with the boat but ride beside their husbands. I understand there are women who feel their sole responsibility is to be Arm Candy. So, it's to the husbands that I say "Do not buy a boat then!" What happens is this.... the husband pulls the boat up to the boat ramp, and jumps out to get the car. The child of said Arm Candy then has the responsibility of standing in the water to hold the boat until Daddy comes down with the trailer, thus taking up an entire lane of the boat ramp. (You can see this is especially a problem when only 1.5 lanes of the ramp are open to begin with.) After Daddy brings down the trailer, he then gets back in the boat, drives it onto the trailer, gets out, hooks it up, etc etc etc. before finally pulling the boat out of the water. All the while, the Arm Candy wife works on her tan, oblivious to the other 10 boats trying to also get out of the water in a timely fashion.
Men: Either teach your wife to drive the boat, or don't buy one.
Arm Candy: You are giving women a bad name. We can drive boats, too. In fact, we can drive them very well with a little practice. This is not one of those soley Y chromosome things, such as mowing the lawn. ;)
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